I totally get you, 100%. 

I busted myself out of the exact same situations I’ve listed above and I’m here to HELP YOU bust out of them too

What I’m about to say is a mix of what was spiritually downloaded to me during the time I was struggling with depression and a portion is what I’ve learned through studying yoga and developing my own yoga practice. 

When the pandemic hit and wiped out my business, I felt like a COMPLETE IDIOT as an entrepreneur. 

Who was I to think I could teach others how to create their own business and dramatically improve their life when mine was sinking into the toilet?  Imposter syndrome was rearing its ugly head along with every other fear I could feel. I literally felt like the biggest dumbass God ever created and seriously considered CHUCKING MY ENTIRE CAREER because I felt that disparaged. 

I came into 2020 on top of my game and I was KILLING IT, only to have the rug pulled right out from underneath me and I wasn’t able to recover in the way I wanted. When you work as hard as we have and life STILL isn’t going right, we can begin to feel as if there’s something seriously wrong with us and there is no cure. 

BUT I later discovered that the problem isn’t that there’s something specifically wrong with me as a person, instead the problem lies somewhere deep within me. And it isn’t necessarily my fault. After going through what’s termed as a “dark night of the soul”, I came to realize that I had personally experienced an excessive amount of different types and degrees of severe TRAUMA and DRAMA throughout my ENTIRE lifetime. WAY MORE than I had originally thought.

A single traumatic event can seriously impede our progress but if you’re experiencing multiple types of trauma and drama, this is what creates the LAYERING EFFECT that I speak about. The trauma and drama build on top of each other and then manifests into deeply ingrained blocks and obstacle that routinely appear when we’re trying to move ourselves forward. 

 This is what leads to us developing multiple problems in multiple areas of life. 

For one example, it’s virtually impossible to attract healthy and loving relationships if we have no idea what healthy and loving is. Or we may have other bad habits such as chronic poor debt management, low self-confidence, weight management problems, active addiction – alcoholism, low self-confidence, low self-esteem, etc.  

Those actions are not going to attract healthy, loving, and SUCCESSFUL partners. We attract what we are, in every area of life. When we’re off, everything else is going to be off. We may WANT better, but better is not available.  During this time I also learned that many of the challenges I was facing WEREN’T NECESSARILY FROM MY OWN DOING but were inherited from members of my family and and people in the surrounding community. 

Trauma and drama along with negativity can become a part of our DNA. This is what we refer to as a GENERATIONAL CURSE. 

A generational curse is a LEARNED or ACQUIRED set of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors that we physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually INHERIT from members of our family and/or surrounding community. You can inherit negative traits directly through our family members or learn them from the behaviors of the people or community around you. 

Things like alcoholism, addiction, obesity, financial despair, racism, domestic violence, and criminal activity are a small example of the types of generational curses we can inherit and acquire from those around us. Those multiple layers of trauma and drama can quickly manifest as low self-confidence, low self-esteem, fear of failure, fear of success, depression, anxiety, and more.

And all of those issues can manifest into even deeper dysfunction, so much so that you can begin to lose your identity, your higher-awareness, your self-respect, even your common sense! Portions of that trauma and drama were so deeply imbedded into me that I would LOGICALLY KNOW the proper way to think, speak, or respond to a questionable situation, but my CONSCIOUS MIND WOULD OVERRIDE THE LOGICAL RESPONSE and CONTINUE with negative sequencing. I seriously don’t know how I made it this far. 

St Jude literally must be my Guardian Angel because there are things I’ve done that most people would never survive. And as time goes on, the dysfunction can become almost resistant to traditional therapy and healing methods. ALL the rehabilitation work I had done through my degree program didn’t even scratch the surface of where I needed the healing the most, it opened the door, per say, but it wasn’t enough. Before that, I had been through COUNTLESS forms of therapy throughout my life. 

I didn’t just sit there, I had been to multiple therapists, psychologists, and even saw two different PSYCHIATRISTS. I took different types of psychotic medications, anxiety drugs, and anti-depressants. I went through detox, AA, NA, Adult Children of Alcoholics, runaway shelters, you name it. Nothing worked. I was STILL struggling.

When I finally relented to learning yoga, I learned that the practice of yoga was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED to help human beings release deeply layered trauma and drama that has manifested into severe blocks and obstacles. 

I learned that the practice of yoga consists of a combination of self-awareness, proper actions, pranayama (breathwork), meditation, asanas (the poses), savasana, inspirational talks, and more, that go deep within the mind, body, and spirit to recognize + release the negative people, places, things, and experiences that have held us back from achieving everything we desire. 

And because we’re never truly absolved of all the dysfunction we acquire, it’s not something that is ever going to go away. 

But we can learn to lessen the amount we carry and refuse to allow it to have dominion over us. 

Yoga is something I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. My only TRUE REGRET in life is not understanding what yoga was 150 years ago when I was so much younger. However, I think a larger aspect of my conscious mind pushed me to avoid it, knowing the jig would truly be up and change would be imminent. Either way, there’s a saying that everything happens for a reason. 

My time was now and if you’re here, then chances are something is CALLING you to address all of the things you’ve been hanging onto for most of your life and  become the highest version of YOURSELF and live your very best life! 

It’s never too late to start your life over and become the woman you were created to be and live the life you’ve always imagined.